last full measure of devotion
by birdbox
Summary: The Social Network- "You told me you loved me. Just the once. Back in the dorm room at Kirkland.  I was drunk, you weren't and you said it: you said you loved me. Do you remember?" Eduardo/Mark angst


**Title: Last Full Measure of Devotion  
><strong>**Author: Walking Through The Rain  
><strong>**Summary:**"You told me you loved me. Just the once. Back in the dorm room at ****Kirkland****. I was drunk, you weren't and you said it: you said you loved me. Do you remember?" **  
><strong>**Rating: T for language, mild suggestive themes and slash  
><strong>**Pairing/Characters: Mark/Eduardo  
><strong>**Disclaimer: This is fiction, based on the movie portrayals of Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin and not their real life counterparts. I make no profit from this and mean no disrespect or offence.  
><strong>**Author's Note: My first TSN fiction, be gentle! I'm sure this concept has already been written before but here's my shot at it. The title was taken from a Torchwood fanfic by mysterypoet66.**

Eduardo Saverin is a mess.

And it's fucking crystal clear for the whole world to see. Inside and out, this trial had taken almost everything out of him. His eyes hurt from the lack of sleep he'd been getting since this trial began; his head hurts from the now grating voices of his lawyers that had been talking at him all day. The only thing that he feels is able to define him anymore was the ways in which he hurt.

And then there's the emotional hurt: Mark _constantly_ twisting the knife in him; his father figuratively spitting in his face when Eduardo is on the floor anyway; his mother too scared of him to stop it.

He leans heavily against the basin in the plush toilets of the law firm, trying to gather up his strength enough to go back in there for the next painful round. He swills his face with water, and looks back into the mirror. He barely restrains a jump when he sees Mark, staring back at him in the reflective glass. It's almost like a horror movie scene.

It takes him a few seconds to gather his thoughts. "You shouldn't be here," Eduardo tells Mark's reflection.

"We're not even allowed to piss in the same place anymore?" Mark asks coolly, but his voice is laced with sneering sarcasm.

Eduardo holds back a sneer. He's always hated Mark's sarcastic side. And Mark knows exactly which buttons to aggravate him. Despite himself, he is sorely tempted to bark an insult back at him but Eduardo decides he hasn't the time or patience to deal with Mark right now. He turns from the sink and strides towards the door, intending to leave before Mark could do anything else to wind him up. Mark stands, blocking the exit; one hand against the tiled wall, the other against the corner of a cubicle.

"What the hell are you doing, Mark?" Eduardo tries to push past him, but Mark holds surprisingly firm.

"Trying to make you listen," Mark responds and before Eduardo can say another word, Mark's lips are on his.

Mark's kiss is desperate, rushed and needy. But more than anything else, Mark's lips are searching. The problem is, Eduardo doesn't know what for. Lips chafe, teeth gnash together and Mark's hands fist in Eduardo's hair. Eduardo's back connects with the tiled wall, never breaking contact. Mark moans into Eduardo's mouth, pushing, trying to get impossibly closer to him. Eduardo slams him roughly back against the opposite wall, wrenching his lips from Mark's but keeping him sandwiched between his body and the wall.

"Mark," Eduardo heaves breathily. Even Eduardo isn't quite sure whether this is meant to warn Mark away from him or plead for him to kiss him again.

"You told me you loved me," Mark says suddenly, as breathless as Eduardo. "Just the once. Back in the dorm room atKirkland. I was drunk, you weren't and you said it: you said you loved me. Do you remember?"

_Yes, _Eduardo's thoughts answer for him, his mind involuntarily going back to the event.

_"Mark," Eduardo says softly. _

_Mark barely stirs at the sound of his name; his fingers limp on the keyboard, head resting in an uncomfortable looking way of the edge of the desk._

_Mark's been coding continuously for 48 hours, drinking endless beers and Red Bulls in that time and it's finally catching up to him. _

_Eduardo sighs, lifting himself up from the mattress. He tugs gently at Mark's wrists, and Mark tries to swat him away but fails because of sleep deprivation and beer-induced weakness. "Come on, Mark," Eduardo murmurs coaxingly. __Eduardo pulls one of Mark's arms over his shoulder and pulls him up with him, staggering over to Mark's bed. Mark is gripping the collar of his shirt with a surprisingly tight grip. As Eduardo drops Mark onto the covers, he overbalances and falls down with him._

_For a few seconds, Eduardo is completely still, not daring to even breathe. He's never gotten this close to Mark before. Their foreheads are almost touching and Eduardo can barely think. _

_Mark's eyes are heavy-lidded and softer than usual because of his inebriation; a blue-grey sea rather than their usual steel. He doesn't even seem to mind their proximity, even though he's a self-confessed 'personal space' fanatic. Instead, Mark just stares back at him, not moving to push Eduardo off like he would have done if he were sober and fully rested._

_Eduardo's eyes are also heavy-lidded but for a reason other than being drunk and tired. A different reason entirely._

_"Wardo," Mark says his voice garbled._

_Eduardo isn't sure why he says it. Maybe it's Mark's eyes. Maybe it's the sound of his nickname slurred on Mark's lips. Whatever._

_"I love you."_

_Eduardo flinches immediately, worried about Mark's reaction. Despite himself, Eduardo can't help but be a little disappointed when he realizes Mark hasn't heard him. He knows he'll probably never say them again, not to Mark's face anyway._

_Mark closes his eyes and rolls over to face the wall. Eduardo tries to get up from the bed without disturbing him. _

_As he walks toward the door, he swears he hears Mark say something else, something that sounds suspiciously like a muffled "I know." Eduardo turns quickly to face him again, and on seeing Mark curled up on the bed, decides it's his imagination playing tricks on him. H__e smiles tenderly at Mark looking so young and peaceful; he isn't used to the sight of Mark's face like that. He grabs a fleece blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it gently over Mark, who's softly snoring by this point._

_With a sigh, Eduardo walks to the door and leaves, clicking the door softly behind him without a look back._

"Do you remember?" Mark repeats urgently, bringing Eduardo back to the present with a crash.

Eduardo's face scrunches a little, struggling with the memories. "Mark…"

Mark takes this as an assent, pressing himself closer to Eduardo and lowering his voice. "You said it: you said you loved me. You meant it, didn't you?" His words are rushed like Eduardo remembered they used to be when Mark was feeling any strong emotion.

Eduardo can't look at him. "Don't do this," he pleads.

His pleas are ignored. Eduardo's gaze flickers up but he soon finds he can't look away. Mark's eyes are tumultuous pools of molten steel.

"Say it," Mark commands almost desperately. "Say it, Wardo."

They stare each other down and Mark's hands find their way back into Eduardo's hair, pulling their lips together once more, as though Mark hopes this will force the words out of his mouth. It's just as urgent as before, and the thought crosses Eduardo's mind that if anyone entered the bathroom now…

But he can't stop. He kisses Mark back with a fervour he hasn't felt in ages. His lips feel like they're bruising from the harsh unceasing friction between their mouths but he can't stop. His last hit. His last full measure of devotion. This is last Eduardo has to give.

They both surface for air, heaving and hazy. The entire world is theirs alone for now, and it goes no further than the small space between their lips. That night, Eduardo thought he'd never say these words again, but as he rests his forehead against Mark's; they slip out once more. "I'll _always _love you," he whispers truthfully.

Their eyes meet across the void, chocolate on steel. Eduardo feels the twisting pain in his stomach again, as though Mark really has stuck a knife in him. And actually, Eduardo might have preferred it if he had.

Eduardo shakes his head minutely. "But I'll never forgive you," he murmurs, unable to conceal his hurt.

He knows Mark's eyes will either look blank or pained at this point, and Eduardo can't decide which would hurt him more. So before he can see them he pulls away, taking shaky but swift steps to the door, bringing them both harshly out of the world they had shared, if only for the smallest amount of time.

**E/N: This feels a little incomplete… I might add something later on. Review?**


End file.
